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Planning a wedding?

2/10/2012

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In a recent article on wedding planning, published in a local paper, the author did an excellent job of covering almost every aspect of the subject. I read the article with great interest, hoping to gain some new perspective on one of the things I most enjoy doing -- performing marriages. I was disappointed. While the article covered weddings from the point of a couple starting to date until the end of the reception, it did not deal with the ceremony proper in any way. There was no mention of the person who actually officiates the wedding ceremony. There was great attention to the selection of music, dress, flowers, venue, caterer, jeweller, etc., but not one word on the person who says the words that actually make a wedding an official event.

I was not sure if this was an oversight, or if the author simply assumed that there would be some relationship between the couple and the person performing the wedding ceremony. Or perhaps there was an underlying sense that the ceremony is not as important as the reception or party that follows. To me, it raised the question of which is greater, the ceremony officially uniting the couple, or the party that celebrates the ceremony? To be sure, if it is a question of simple economics, the party gets a far greater expenditure of time and money. I understand how that works.

However, such a emphasis begs the question. Brides, more than grooms for the most part, typically have a mental picture of what they want their wedding day to look like, and part of that picture includes them standing in front of a roomful of carefully selected people, holding hands with (or kissing) the man of their dreams, dressed in an elegant dress, with a minister, or officiant of some sort, smiling and blessing their union. The ceremony is part of the wedding, and needs to be a part of the carefully thought-through wedding plans.

A good wedding minister or officiant can help create the exact ceremony that you, the couple getting married, will want. So your selection of a wedding officiant is just as important as every other choice that you make together. You don't want your reception to be boringly cookie-cutter, looking like every other reception you  have attended. My guess is that you don't want your guests to snooze through your wedding ceremony either. What do you think?
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10/16/2011

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    Rev. Michael is an ordained pastor and experienced wedding officiant. He has been a pastor for 13 years, serving churches in the Chicagoland area.

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